Wrath by Snow Jenika

Author:Snow,Jenika [Snow,Jenika]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Evernight Publishing
Published: 2016-09-23T21:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

The silence stretched on for a little while, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was nice being with Wrath like this, nothing separating them, their experience and feelings for each other not hidden or hindered.

“Do you ever regret the things you’ve done, the mistakes you’ve made but can’t take back or fix?” Lila asked him. She felt content, relaxed, and happy. But there was something the back of her mind having her on guard. She didn’t know what it was, but it was there, and she took notice.

It was like feeling someone watching her, or knowing something was going to happen, but unable to pinpoint it and stop it.

Wrath didn’t answer for long seconds. He had a stoic expression in place, and she wondered how different their lives could have been if they hadn’t been dealt fucked up childhoods.

How different things could have been if I’d just been honest from the beginning.

He finally looked over at her, and her throat tightened at the hard look in his eyes. “The only regret I have in my life is not telling you years ago how I felt.” He looked at the ceiling, his jaw clenched. “But everything else I’ve done, Lila, every deplorable, illegal, and violent thing I’ve ever done…” He looked at her then. “I don’t regret any of it, because it’s who and what I am.” He clenched his jaw even harder, and she saw the muscle flex under his scruff-covered skin. “And I’ll keep doing that shit, because it’s embedded in me, is what makes up my black, cold soul.”

She wanted to say something, but she kept her mouth shut.

“I am a motherfucker, and always will be. You deserve so much better than me.” He sat up and braced his forearms on his thighs. He was hunched over, sitting on the edge of the bed, and the disconnection coming from him tangible. He’d closed off from her in an instant.

“I know who and what you are, Wrath. I’ve always known, and I don’t care. It doesn’t make me not want you.” She swallowed past her emotions. “I was so young and stupid back in the day for not saying how I felt. I was scared of being hurt, of you breaking my heart—”

He looked over at her, the dark look covering his face making her speechless. “You staying away from me was the smartest thing you ever did, Lila.” He stared into her eyes, and she hated that he said that … that he felt that way. “But having you by my side, wanting you, being so fucking in love with you makes me want to try really fucking hard to be a good guy.”

Her heart hurt something fierce.

“But I’ll never be that guy, Lila.” His voice hardened. “I’ll never be the man that was supposed to be in your life.”

She shook her head, the despair filling her coming on so strong she couldn’t breathe. “How can you say that after what we just did, after what we just told each other?”

She didn’t want to hear this from him.

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